July 2010
3 posts
A few days ago we got a call from a hotel.
I get to help a young husband deal with his estranged 24 year old wife’s remains after her boyfriend decided to beat her to a pulp then blow her brains out.
Let’s just say I’m having a hard keeping my dirty mouth clean.
Fucking shit man, seriously.
About a month ago I was called out to a storage shelter. A 26 year old guy blew his pretty little brains out all over his family’s stored belongings. He had a great job, a beautiful, sweet, timid, little wife, and three children. So young to be such a dickhead.
Meanwhile, I get to put the dickhead back together so his ever-loving family can say goodbye while trying to “keep...
I dealt with a lady and her boyfriend who came in because they wanted their stillborn baby cremated. The baby was still in the mother’s belly and they were “taking it out” the next day. I felt horrible for this woman; she had two weeks left in her pregnancy.
Then when the day came for me to pick up the stillborn I read the death certificate. (Stillborns DO get death certificates...
May 2010
6 posts
Yesterday I had to drive an hour out into the middle of nowhere to a family’s house. When I got there they didn’t want to give up the body, they wanted me to bring my “equipment” and stuff her so she can stay on the couch. It took over an hour to work with them on 1: why that’s not possible and 2: how to let go. Eventually they let me take her.
*side note: she had...
At the funeral tomorrow we are expecting to have over 150 bikers, this is for the little 2 month old.
Also, we are expecting police to be waiting for the funeral to end. I guess they’re expecting their guy to come to the funeral so they’re gonna get him when he leaves.
Life is never boring.
On Monday we got a 2 month old little girl who asphyxiated… the parents want her embalmed. I will never understand some people.
On another note of this, my mom was showing me photos of my new little niece who is almost one month old. In the photos where she was sleeping I just couldn’t look at it the same way anymore. Watching people sleep just won’t be the same.
Asshole Status
I was meeting with a (mildly middle-aged) man yesterday about his upcoming daughters funeral. The man was in a horrible state. Obviously. Who wouldn’t look, smell, and feel like shit when your young daughter is about to die in a few days. I’m helping this man talk about things he doesn’t feel ready to accept but some mysterious force is making him face such utter crap. So yeah,...
Note to self:
Don’t wear a “flowy” dress to a graveside service. Fuck wind.
CHANGE OF PACE: An Introduction To My...
I’m going to change the pace of this particular tumblr. I originally started it to try to put down things from my past, tidbits, stories, etc from my past life as a model/actress/fucking etc etc. But I have a hard time actually sitting down and relating stories like that. I’m much better suited to those kind of things when I’ve been drinking with friends. Not when I’m...
June 2009
14 posts
Steven Clark, my uncle
So I feel like if I don’t post about my uncle passing away tonight it’ll be like a missed chance. I’m sort of having mixed emotions about his passing. I’ve lost a lot… geesh… a lot of people in my life. But most of those people were so close to me in a way that my uncle never was. He was always just Uncle Steve, always there.
Maybe I should explain a bit. When Steve was growing up he was...
Meanwhile, my father is staying home to watch after the “Lazy W”. He’s been recently sending me the cutest pictures of my cats (they’re visiting the grandparents for awhile). One of them, Bucky, is kinda hard to get attached to cause he just won’t cuddle. Well, my dad thought he was doing a good job the other night cause Bucky was cuddled up under a blanket on his lap for a few hours while he...
The Poo Guru.
Among all the wonderful things that my mother is in my life… she’s also my Poo Guru. Ever since I was a little toe-head my mom could always tell the state of my health by my “BM”. It was an ever constant conversation at our dinner table. If I felt a certain way my mom would ask the normal question, “What does your BM look like?” I would proceed to give her a full description. Size, consistency,...
Barbara Gladys Grace Jean Schikowski
I’ll call her Barbara for short so I don’t have to keep writing the whole thing out… but trust, in real life, it was required to say the whole thing out cause god-forbid if you didn’t call her the right thing. You see she changed her name every day. She usually stuck with Schikowski as the last name for some reason. She wasn’t a Schikowski, she was a Hilton. Betty Hilton in fact. One time I called...
Mission Statement:
This will be an attempt at remembering my life.
Hold on people, it is and will be a crazy one.
ps-this is NOT a diary of my day-to-day life. These are things that I’ve done, wrecked, accomplished, demolished, broken, and fixed.
Enjoy me remembering this.